Here’s the thing about triggers. Sometimes you don’t know know they’re there until they’re set off.
Maybe you’re actively working on reducing your reactivity. Reducing your emotional, physical, and visceral reactions. Thinking that you finally have a good handle on things. After-all, you have been working diligently.
But then you get sick. You don’t get adequate sleep. You have been overly stressed. You’re being pulled in different directions. Whatever it is that reduces your ability to process and regulate your emotions and reactions.
And there it is. Your trigger is exposed. The nerve at which you protected so delicately. Someone or something comes across your trigger like a tripwire. Setting off a multitude of emotions. Subsequently, well oftentimes, setting off another persons trigger. Causing a spiral that you feel you can’t get out of. You’re spiralbound.
I can’t tell you how many times I have been caught in the crosshairs of a trigger spiral. When I feel caught I…
Cry - it’s my emotional release that often gets misunderstood as being angry or upset.
Over explain - I feel if I can just make the other person see my side then I will have fixed the problem
Become the fixer - I will try all avenues to get to peace fawn - retreat, back pedal, apologize first, oftentimes leading to worse off endings.
Peace maker. Enough said there..
Dead horse - engaging over and over despite the other person not wanting to engage. See all of the above for all actions within the dead horse. Resulting in undesirable outcomes.
Become shameful - I am clearly a disappointment for not acting or responding in a particular way. Usually spiraling into more shame.
And so many other reactions.
I am to the point in my healing journey that I recognize many of my triggers before they become spiralized. It hasn’t been an easy journey and I know I still have A LOT more work to do.
But, here are some ways that I cope and refrain from falling into my spiral.
Mindfulness:
This is far easier said than done, I recognize this fact. Recognizing small moments of discomfort, irritation, knee jerk reactions, propelled my understanding of my much larger visceral triggers. Not everything warrants a response, but everything does require attention.
When I feel that “twinge” I try to do two things.
Pause. Take a deep breath and pause here.
Ask “why?”. Why am I feeling this way and does this warrant as big of a reaction as I want to give it?
Sometimes that pause is a LONG pause. Understanding that not everything needs a reaction, so I put it out of mind until I am able to digest later.
Shadow work:
Along the lines of mindfulness, but more all encompassing. Actively looking at my discomfort and the “who, what, when, where, and why” of my discomfort. Activities involved in this could be..
Journaling
Meditation
Energy cleansing
Basic Self Care:
When I am not caring for myself I am far more sensitive to minor triggers. I ask myself (or my partner asks me!)
Have I eaten?
Have I had water?
How did I sleep?
Am I overstimulated?
What do I need in this moment?
Those are just a few ways to explore navigating your triggers. They are so nuanced that not one thing works for everyone. If you are in the midst of feeling like you have been spiraling more than normal, I would advise you to..
Talk to someone!
Reach out to energy workers (Like me!)
Take a breather and take something off your plate!
Give yourself some grace!
Take some space!
Photo by Rick Gebhardt on Unsplash If you connect with my personal journey here and are looking to take your next step in your own spiritual journey head over to my website!