Do A Tarot Reading With Me: A Personal Tarot Reading Done by Yours Truly.
A glimpse into utilizing tarot as a tool for self discovery.
I have been in a rut. I have been talking about it for months with various people. But mostly, I have been reeling from within. Unable to express what lies under the surface. But mostly just feeling exhausted by all of the tendrils that life has been pulling me this way and that way (up and down, up and down, over the deep blue sea).
I know by leaning into my spiritual practice I will feel better - and yet I refrain from doing so. It’s a bit like task paralysis; the inability to initiate a task. I have been feeling this tug-o-war of needing to initiate a more consistent practice and just being frozen for months. Giving myself reiki here and there, going into my records once or twice, and reaching for my tarot cards many more times. And yet, I am still unable to actually put anymore effort into it. I needed to get out of this rut!
I set a goal. Do one reading. That’s it. A simple enough easy to achieve goal.
I decided to do a tarot reading. Something visually tangible while also needing interpretation. Instead of stressing over what format to choose, what I wanted to focus on, I reached for my 365 Tarot Spreads and flipped to April 29: St. George’s Slay the Dragon Spread.
Long story short - it’s about rescuing a princess from being tossed into the bowels of a dragon as a human sacrifice to keep said dragon rom pillaging the town. This spread is for preparing one for radical change by slaying an inner dragon you have faced.
I chuckled to myself at the irony. I have looked at so many facets of myself this year that I am just stuck. What dragon to even turn towards to slay?
So - let’s go. Follow along as I read for myself. I will be following my same format that I provide to my clients! Underneath each explanation I will share what personal insight I have found from the cards in italic. This same insight I hope my clients gleam.
Tarot Reading for Jess M.
As I was shuffling my Crow Tarot card deck - my intention was what was ultimately impacting my life as a whole. From being a mother, to wife, to business owner. What is something that needs to attention and will be a dragon to slay.
Card 1: What is the issue that must be addressed?
The Three of Swords: The card of grief. Anguish. Sorrow.
So this is the dragon that I must focus on. I chuckled as I accepted this card as the issue that I must address. This card represents a need to accept the loss and sadness. To accept the pain and grief. Only when we can accept these can we really be ready for the next step. We can resist these emotions allowing the devastation to keep cutting away at us. Or we can accept that yes there is in fact pain. And yes, you are allowed to feel the disappointment and sorrow from it. This card also represents that what you are going through and the emotions you feel are absolutely valid. In order to heal it you must truly feel it.
There has been A LOT in the past six months (and even longer) that I know I have not exactly dealt with. But when can I allow myself the bandwidth to feel everything when so many other’s rely on me? The answer to this question lies here - now is the time I need to really begin moving through my emotions with my circumstances. There has been great disappointment in my family unit. There has been loss of trust. Trudging up deep seated father wound trauma. There has been discomfort in the unknown. Grief in holding space for someone very close to me. Watching their life and heart shatter as I offer the only support that I can. Worry for my children. Children feel their surroundings and despite shielding my children from the stress of the family, I know they feel it. Worry about my youngest’s health as we have had multiple ER visits of various nature. Worry over my eldest’s sensory processing and emotional control. I have had to keep putting these feelings and emotions in a box, forcing myself to restrain. This restraint causing exhaustion impacting the way I parent. the relationship with my husband, the (lack of ) time and energy for my business. It’s exhausting.
Card 2: What do I sacrifice?
Three of Wands: The card of progression, movement, and fulfillment of plans.
Typically, the card represents plans are progressing steadily. That there is movement in the right direction. This card can also represent that now is the time to make plans for your next step. Create the foundation to move effortlessly through the next stage. The three of wands is also symbolic in gaining momentum and having opportunities to widen your horizon. In this position of sacrifice, we are perceiving a sense of stalling. A pause in the journey. It is no longer smooth sailing, there is a hiccup in the road. You may also be sacrificing the next step. Or even sacrificing the foresight of the known and venturing into the unknown. When I see this card, I see sacrificing of plans. Forcing oneself to release control. Sacrificing the known and control.
Wow - is this ever so accurate. SO much has changed. So much so, that many things have been paused. Reshuffled. Shuffled again. And paused again. The thing that comes forward when I think of the sacrifices with this card is mostly of control for me. I am a planner. I did not plan my mother moving in with us (it’s a blessing really). But here we are. Moving and reshuffling a home that felt like it finally had some order to it. I did not plan to take such large breaks from my creating. But health and physical transitions had me taking those breaks. Which led to fewer markets booked because I just cannot do it all. I did not plan for my youngest to be in the hospital or emergency rooms as often as she did - sacrificing the money we saved to pay for those bills. I did not plan to worry about my oldest entering kindergarten, but the discussions of him having big emotions have me worried. There is a lot of sacrificing best made plans.
Card 3: How do I stop this behavior?
Three of Cups: The card of celebration. Happiness. Shared Success.
The three of cups represents SHARED success. Highlighting those who have helped achieve one’s goals. Signifying being surrounded by like minded people, allowing others to be supportive in difficult times, and sharing in success. Ultimately, this card can represents moving out of the badass independent mindset and realizing you will be successful sooner if you allowed others in. Just because you allow other’s to help you does not make you less than.
If this isn’t a slap into what I need to do…I have holed up. Moved into hibernation mode of sorts. Walling up my emotions. Not wanting to appear weak to anyone. I also do not want to be a burden to others. My main support people already have their own issues they’re dealing with. They don’t need mine too. BUT. I realize that I can’t do this alone. I will be allowing others to help. Asking to be supported by friends, family, doctors, whatever I need.
Card 4: How do I approach the source?
Three of Pentacles: Stability through wisdom and hard work.
This card represents the building of a strong foundation through careful planning, acquiring new skills, and utilizing wisdom. It is important to build a strong foundation for long- term stability. This may be in the form of time, wisdom, and resources. It is okay that things may not be progressing as quickly as you want because that means you are building that strong foundation for further growth. Ultimately, slow and steady wins the race. In this position, I am seeing that there is no quick way to move through this process. You must move diligently and process you can build your foundation strong again. Your core and values were rocked, it’s okay to take the time and resources to build it back.
Okay, wow. Well I need to slow down. I won’t heal overnight. And everything I want to do needs to be done in ways that help build the solid foundation for the growth that I seek. I cannot put amazing plans on a weak structure. I am seeing this as both personal and professional.
Card 5: What physical action can I take?
Ten of Pentacles: Completion. Stability. Planning for the future.
This card often represents wealth building, financial security, and long term stability. This is the ultimate card of knowing you “made it”. When seeing this card you have comfort and stability. As well as the ability to build generational wealth and stability. I have to say, I was stumped seeing this card in this position. What physical action does this represent? Then it hit me, the actions to take in order to create the stability you need. What actions can you take to build the strong generational stability? What decisions can you make to provide financial stability for yourself and future generations down the line?
I was stumped with what actions to take with this card. And after talking it over with my husband (who just happens to like tarot) it clicked. I must make decisions to benefit my family in the long term. Reinvesting in our family and home. Reinvesting in my business. By making decisions, I can begin building the strong foundation that was shaken with the three of swords.
Card 6: How does life change as a result?
Wheel of Fortune: The circle of life. Ebbs and flow.
This card represents all seasons in life. What goes up must come down. Understanding that life is full of all seasons, from light to dark. This card represents movement from one season to another. By embracing each changing of the seasons the easier to is to move through them, even dark periods. This card can represent un upswing in those seasons. The period of light is approaching. It is important to embrace the increased success and all around light - while also understanding that this period does not last forever. But you can prepare for the darkness allowing for a bit smoother sailing. Ultimately, seeing the wheel of fortune in this position shows that by moving through the three of swords, you will be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. It ill not last forever and you can enjoy the fruits of your labor.
I don’t think I could have asked for a better card. While the wheel of life is constantly in motion, knowing that there is a light at the end of this part of the journey brings me hope. There will be good in this upswing. As I move through the anguish, build more solid foundations, and reinvest time, energy, and money into the various parts of my life, I will see happiness and success.
Card 7: What has been learned?
King of Pentacles: Stability. Routine. Material achievements.
A card of stability and financial security. This king represents success through practicality. This card presents reliability and tradition. This card is one of ultimate stability. Whether in a financial setting or familial. This king did not get here through brute force or wild imaginative schemes. Rather, patience and solid investments is what brought this individual forward. The lesson learned here may be one of making decisions through wisdom and foresight rather than through emotion alone. Looking at the big picture rather than getting stuck in the weeds. Understanding that success often takes time and is not won overnight. A war is won through one battle at a time.
Personally, this is sound advice and lesson I am learning. I can be impulsive when making decisions. I am excitable. I am ready to be at my goal now. Whether that is with house projects, personal goals, or even business goals. This lesson of learning patience and making sound investments will ultimately pay off.
Overall:
In general, patience and consistent movement to move through the three of swords energy will be necessary to get to the wheel of fortune. Sound investments in time, energy, and money will be vital. Do not rush your process in healing. Do not rush the end result. While you may be in grief now, you won’t be for long. If only you can move through it.
Some “soul”work to help take the next step. The first step is “feel it to heal it”. Which may be difficult! It often isn’t very fun. Mindfulness exercises such as noting physical sensations, following emotional sensations into your physical body, and allowing you to feel your feelings will be helpful. Journal prompts may also be helpful in uncovering some of the long buried emotions.
When have you been deeply hurt - and how does it feel in your body?
When have you felt anger? What caused the anger?
When was the last time you felt vulnerable? What happened?
What am I grieving?
In general, by being more mindful of your physical body, you will become more aware of your emotions and how they impact you.
Just because your original plans were thwarted does not mean you are in ruin. The three of wands shows that adjustment can be made and your can still be on the path of success. What plans can you make now that will benefit your family, you, and your business in the future?
You will get through this - you have before. You have been through numerous three of swords situations and the wheel of fortune will make it’s rounds again. Hold on tight and follow the path before you. Make adjustments when necessary and understand that you are ultimately in control.
And there you have it. A tarot reading done by yours truly for yours truly. What you just read is what you can expect from a tarot reading with me!
I decided to do my reading in this format because I have been having difficulty with allowing myself to process. What better way of receiving helpful guidance than putting myself in my clients shoes? By taking a step back and reading as though it were a client allowed me to take an unbiased approach.
Personally and professionally speaking - this reading was wonderful! I read very intuitively and prefer my readings to take the shape of a story. The cards pulled for this reading followed a story. And one I cannot ignore.
I do not utilize tarot to tell the future or make strict decisions with. I utilize tarot as a tool not a decider. This tool can be used to gleam insights, provide structure, and can be all around fun! If you are interested in a reading like the above, please reach out! Or visit my website at www.theconsciouscrow.com